Though I wish everyone reading this the absolute best for this new year, I’m not going to start this post off by saying how glad I am to say goodbye to 2020. In fact, and with the greatest respect and compassion for all those who have suffered hardship during 2020, I am grateful not to have been impacted negatively by the Pandemic. Nor was any of my family. We were spared.
Whew! I do not want to endure any further hardship in my life. In fact, I am so happy to say I am finally doing a darn good job turning things around in my life when it comes to healing and embracing positive change.
However, for those newly bereaved who have suffered loss of a loved one, economic hardship, unwanted lifestyle changes, a relationship breakup, family separation, or their hopes and dreams, all because of something way beyond their control, it’s a new year. You can have a new life by developing a new mind set. Change your thoughts. Change your life and all that. Or can you?
I know, you’ve heard it all before and may think how cliché and even a little bit boring this all sounds. At least, it may for those of us who are consciously trying to be winning in life all the time. Who hasn’t embraced the idea of change your thoughts, change your life? (It’s going on forty years for me doing this stuff!)
While I absolutely believe in this mental practice to create change, here’s where things get a little different for me. After losing my daughter to suicide in 2005, EVERYTHING changed. I was forced to revisit all of my beliefs and practices that until fifteen years ago, I thought were the ticket to having it all. A great life centered on manifesting what I wanted (and it was a pretty good life).
With absolutely no disrespect to the practices used or any tools out there that can help us change our thoughts and beliefs, when trying to recover from extreme adversity, I found that all of the tools I previously worked with and that have been around for decades, were not enough to help me make lasting positive changes in my life amidst all of my suffering. In fact, I had to redefine all of what these now meant to me and refine my approach to change.
The last year’s worth of global problems has certainly brought major suffering to millions of people. Let’s face it. In the greater context, the world is a huge mess right now! In fact, 2021 may bring more of the same. No one knows for certain how the world will eventually rebound from this major shift we are going through.
Suffering doesn’t have to be experienced only on a personal and physical level. There are millions of people who have been impacted mentally and emotionally by what they see and feel going on around them.
I’ve been working hard to create a healing process to help anyone suffering, find hope and meaning for their life. Through an enhanced and gentle approach, this practice is intended to help anyone heal and create the changes for their life that they want as they feel ready (it takes time to get better). It’s working for me. I am experiencing the most authentic healing from my grief since my daughter died, on my own terms and in my own time. It can work for you, too.
Are you suffering?
If you are suffering in any way right now or in need of a mental and emotional boost from empathically absorbing the stresses of the world, I’ve found one of the first of several crucial steps essential to take to experience the most authentic healing that’s bringing lasting change to my life, is to develop a different mindset. While all of what this is will be different for everyone, this unique process I’ve embraced to change and heal will be similar for everyone.
Though I’m still a little bit away from being able to offer my course content online, I will be regularly sharing information on this blog (sign up to receive alerts if you don’t want to miss any). The first of this to understand for those who have been impacted by sudden death or other traumatizing events, is that trauma and PTSD disrupt the normal brain cycle. With a brain disrupted, it’s not possible to create change or feel like we have a winning life just by changing what we think (a belief I held until three years ago). Understanding this gave me the freedom to start healing on my terms and in my own time with greater clarity about what I needed to support my healing.
The second foundational piece to this healing process is to understand that to surrender pain:
- You must be willing to develop a new mindset.
- You must let it be okay to feel okay.
Cheers to both!
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Feature Photo by Josh Withers on Unsplash; Trophy Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash; Balloons Photo by Hybrid on Unsplash; Balloons Photo by Hybrid on Unsplash; Water Lily Photo by Jay Castor on Unsplash