So many people are in emotional pain and grieving some type of loss from the past or more recently, and haven’t got a clue they are in grief. It is this cluelessness that may well explain in part, why we don’t talk about grief very much in western culture. Which, as someone who has struggled with complicated grief from the suicide of my daughter in 2005, really frustrates me. It has made the journey these past thirteen years very lonely; just as I suspect it’s been a lonely one for millions of other people coping with complicated grief or grief they don’t understand.Continue reading “Grief or Not … am I a Griever?”
This past weekend there was a horrific limo crash in upstate New York that killed all 20 people, 18 of them inside the vehicle. Reading past the headlines, I discovered one family alone lost four daughters aged 30 to 35. That stopped my breath for few seconds, trying to imagine my own loss and subsequent pain times four. I couldn’t do it. I’m not sure I could survive that level of human devastation.
So, you are a griever. Possibly laid flat on the floor by whatever loss brought you to your grief. Hold up! There’s help, even if it doesn’t feel like it today.
The first thing I did when I became bereaved was connect with other bereaved parents. I joined the Compassionate Friends support group (bereaved parents click links for information about support in the USA and Canada), sought out books, online communities and any other resource I could think of. There were few available. I was grateful for what I did find, but other than reassuring me I was not the only parent who had lost a child and that the pain I was struggling with was felt by all bereaved parents, I felt alone and lost. There was nothing to guide me to the healing I desperately wanted. Until, that is, I turned to the world of angels.
The journey in grief can be long and hard. Though I’ve experienced several losses since the death of my daughter in 2005, including both my parents, none have been as long or difficult to grieve as the death of my child. In my grief, there have been ups and downs and lows and highs, with no guarantee as to how anything in my life would turn out. The only thing I have remained certain of is that grief brings with it a rollercoaster ride of craziness. Where anything goes; nothing stays the same. Everything is constantly changing. Continue reading “The Good Griever’s Journey – Part 1”