Are you the kind of person who dreams about your future and can easily envision changing your life? Who can set and achieve goals? Who knows that what you do, want, and have to say matters? You feel confident and ready for more, but when opportunity comes knocking (as it does), you want to run? You make excuses about why you can’t do this or that and worry about how your life would change? You fear becoming more visible, engaged with others, maybe even well-known, and all of what that may mean? Are you scared of success?
SUCCESS REQUIRES US TO MOVE OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONE
Success requires us to move out of our comfort zone and take on more than we’re used to. Regardless of how you define success, whether it’s finding your perfect relationship, becoming a parent, getting promoted at work, a new job, or seizing that next entrepreneurial opportunity, if saying yes or no feels overwhelming beyond the normal nerves that we all feel when we are faced with big change, consider whether fear of success may be holding you back. From your dreams in general or just committing to that next big step that just may take you where you really want to go.
I recently had a conversation about claiming success with a group of entrepreneurs. My takeaway was that most of us in general, don’t spend enough time thinking about ourselves as wildly successful in any area of our life, much less ready to claim it. Even though success is what we’re all trying to achieve in every area of our life.
THERE ARE MANY TYPES OF SUCCESS
While we usually define success related to big life changes or milestones, whether this is personal or in business, there are many types of success. How we define it is unique to us as individuals.
Regardless of what we are aiming to achieve (get out of bed or create an empire), to overcome fear of success and fully embrace what the universe is waiting to gift us, we must imagine our world beyond the money and material goods, which is how many people think of success. We must think about all the other changes success would bring to our life. Specifically, why we want it and what we intend to do with it.
WHAT WOULD SUCCESS MEAN FOR YOU?
No matter what we are chasing that will take us to that next step, success requires us to become something more than we were before it materialized. Which is why we must prepare for it. Plan for success in our head no differently than how we would strategize any other life change.
Success can feel scary for anyone. There are several reasons you may fear success. Not least, your mind conditioning about your abilities and what you deserve. You may feel guilty about feeling so blessed. You may not know what to do with loads of money or fame (if this is what you’re going for). You may not want to commit to the increased time and energy that certain levels of success demand. You may not want to be more visible or take on more responsibility (think of all those social media influencers). You may be concerned about what kind of person you could become if success were to change you, or how your success may impact your relationship or other loved ones.
TO CREATE THE CHANGES THAT YOU WANT:
- Decide what you really want.
- Trust that your changes will happen in the right timing.
- Mentally prepare for success.
Nobody wants to feel trapped in their circumstances. But a mindset that challenges every positive thought you have about what you can offer and deserve can keep you from embracing wonderful opportunities. Ones you’re likely to view instead as a huge risk.
Most change is scary and requires some risk. So, it’s natural if you feel afraid and uncertain to a point when you begin a new adventure. While visualization, meditating, and affirmations are helpful to reinforce your self-worth, when fear or indecisiveness freezes you into place, you must dig a little deeper to see what’s really driving your fear.
An exercise to help you dig down:
- On a piece of paper, create 3 columns.
- In Column 1, write down one change you want to make in your life right now or decision you must make about a current opportunity. (You can also choose a past opportunity you turned down).
- In Column 2, write down everything you fear could happen because of this change occurring or if you said yes to the opportunity.
- In Column 3, write down everything wonderful that could happen because of this change occurring or because you said yes to the opportunity. (If you chose a previous opportunity that you declined, write down what you think could have happened if you’d said yes.)
- Looking over your answers, decide which ones feel valid for your life today.
Change will happen when you are ready for it and are pursuing something you really want. You may be surprised how many things people say they want but don’t, really. Which is why it’s awesome to remember the magic that happens behind the scenes the moment you place your order to the universe, as it were, for those changes you know in your heart are genuine desires. (If it’s money, here’s a fun meditation to see how comfortable you really are with money.)
HOW TO TELL IF WHAT YOU WANT IS GENUINE
- Genuine desires will never leave your heart.
- You won’t feel any urgency waiting for them to manifest. In fact, some people wait years for something to materialize in their life.
- You will never lose hope that they will materialize.
- What you want will feel intrinsic to your soul.
You’ll learn about all this and more in the course I’m launching in the fall to take you to your maximum personal power. Meantime, for more resources and support www.vonnesolis.com.
Feature Photo by Edu Lauton on Unsplash