Bereavement is the result of deprivation or loss. Many people (including my former self) do not equate bereavement with an experience other than physical death. However, bereavement can arise from anything that has caused us to live with intense grief.
No matter what has happened in our life to create adversity or knock us off our feet, we can change. We can free ourselves from whatever has trapped us in our mind and physical circumstances. From feeling hopeless we could ever move beyond whatever has thrown us our raw deal. From whatever has left us bereft of all happiness and the things we once wanted.
And, as awful as this sounds, many people struggle with these thoughts and feelings. Sometimes their entire life, not trusting they can change it for the better. Whether bereavement relates to loss, illness, one tragedy or a culmination of hurtful experiences, it is essential to have hope and trust that you can go beyond bereavement. You can create the life you can envision and truly want.
SOME SIGNS OF GRIEF
After any major loss or other devastation, we can be hit with depression, confusion, anger, fear, and a host of other negative emotions. We may not correlate previous painful experiences or loss with current challenges or illness. As a result, we may not have a clue what’s wrong with us or who to turn to for help.
We may be struggling to meet our obligations. Maintain our relationships. Take an interest in our friends or previous activities. We may believe we have nothing worthwhile to offer others and feel out of place in our various communities, which can leave us feeling lost and alone. All of these are signs of grief and the list goes on. However, the important point is that any number of difficult experiences can trap us in these and other negative emotions that make it hard for us to trust we could ever regain control of our life.
HOPE IS ESSENTIAL TO CREATE LASTING CHANGE
Lasting change comes from our ability to continually transform our life. Hope is essential to help us create lasting change.
Hope arises when we know what we want and can remain optimistic that things will turn out for the best. However, when we are struggling and in pain, hope can quickly elude us. After loss or adversity and when our mind has been riddled with negative emotions and conditioned to expect the worst, it’s natural to focus only on our immediate survival. Which is a lot different than living with intention, which facilitates the changes that we want.
WE MUST BE ABLE TO SEE OUR POTENTIAL TO BELIEVE IN THE FUTURE
We must be able to see our potential to believe in the future and trust that everything will turn out for the best. Even when we can’t see what all this is yet. I say “all this” because one positive change always leads to more positive changes.
TO CONSISTENTLY CREATE CHANGE:
1. Decide what you really want (you can change your mind).
2. Trust that your changes can and will happen when the timing is right.
AVOIDING THE PITFALLS
It takes work and time for anyone to change what they no longer want to experience. As someone bereaved, you must work a little harder and have patience because of the various challenges you may be facing that are unique to bereavement.
As well, it’s good to remember that hope is often fleeting for everyone amidst the reality of their present circumstances. In those in between times, when the changes you want still aren’t here, avoid falling into the common pitfalls that include impatience, worry, depression, frustration, and doubt, by reminding yourself of all that you do enjoy in your current situation. Trust that you can and will cruise through any challenge and undesirable circumstance until what you really want comes along. Because it will! And you need to be ready for it.
THE PROCESS – TIMING IS EVERYTHING
Many people lose all hope that anything good could ever happen in their life again because of a tragic loss or illness that has befallen them. Any devastation demands that we have more courage and need more time to recover than dealing with less challenging circumstances. However, one thing that remains the same for anyone wanting to change their life is the process.
In my four decades plus of diligently following an intention and manifestation practice, experience has taught me that our bigger changes always occur in their own timing and way and are intertwined with what’s going on in the lives of everyone else who will be impacted by that change. Hindsight almost always shows us the reason for any perceived delay and why things worked out the way they did. When, on the odd occasion, we are left struggling to understand what just happened, we simply weren’t meant to know. Or, the changes were meant to impact someone else in a bigger way. When this happens, it’s like being a guest at our own party.
The more proficient we become at consciously creating the life that we really want, the easier it is to appreciate the magic there is in every change that produces our perfect outcome. One that we could never have imagined. Which is all of them when we live with intention and trust ourselves to become more adventurous.
My intention since losing my daughter to suicide in 2005 has been to heal and share what I learn with others to help end the needless suffering of anyone. And, to support those who want to heal after loss. Hope is one of several lessons I’ll be offering in my upcoming course to teach anyone bereaved how to master their life after loss on their path to personal power.
For more resources and support www.vonnesolis.com.